


You'll Understand When You're Older

by bitzygirl



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Book: Explorer's Guide to Wildemount, Charis (town), Gen, Nonbinary Character, Songfic, Xhorhas (Critical Role), setting is CR world but story is original
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:15:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitzygirl/pseuds/bitzygirl
Summary: A friend wrote a campaign based in Wildemount and I made a playlist for my character's childhood. Each chapter is based on a song or group of songs from the playlist, progressing through their childhood and adolescence.





	1. "Take Up Your Spade" - Sara Watkins

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, congratulations! Welcome to the world of some random person's D&D campaign. Hope you enjoy, or at least find some new songs to check out.
> 
> Our main character is Nosra Fisher, a nonbinary fire genasi from the small Xhorhasian village of Charis.

The sun rose through the trees the same way it always had - reds and oranges and pinks of the sky peaking through the leaves, a golden glow slowly illuminating the village. It was the harvest season, fields of farmland and individual gardens alike bursting with color as their yields reached their peak ripeness. Truly, the Wildmother's grace could be felt here almost like a physical presence.

The residents of Charis awoke the same way they always had - the farmers (which was almost everyone) greeted the sunrise in their fields and in their barns, the self-appointed guards prepared for their morning patrols, and the elders drank whatever they had on hand to combat the headaches they would soon develop from dealing with petty disputes. Children helped their parents in the fields, guards trained as they waited for their patrols to start, artisans set up their market stalls, and life continued on just as it always did.

When the storm started rolling in, everyone prepared in the same way they always had - farmers with livestock herded them into the barns, gardeners set tarps over their more delicate plants, and parents pulled their kids inside before their curiosity got them soaking wet. In fact, the only thing that made this storm different from all the others was the fact that Missus Juniper Thornburrow was going into labor with her first child while her husband - Mister Arbogast Thornburrow - was running through the steadily-increasing downpour to find the healer. The Halfling couple knew that the baby was due any day now, but neither of them expected it to come _now_ , and by the time Mr. Thornburrow returned to his wife the rain had created small rivers criss-crossing through the village pathways.

"Okay, Mr. Thornburrow, I need you to listen carefully," the healer said. "I need you to get a tub of water and set it next to the fire to warm up. Next, grab a large bundle of cloths and towels. We won't need them now, but you won't want to leave to go get them when we do. Finally, get comfortable. We'll be here a while."

The next few hours turned into the most stressful time of the couple's lives. Feeling utterly powerless as his wife labored, Mr. Thornburrow held her hand and applied the herbal salves as the healer directed, watching him monitor her progress and listening to the wind howl outside as thunder shook him in his seat. When the time finally came, everyone in the room was much too focused on the task at hand to pay attention to the flashes of lightning or the pounding of rain against the door. At first, once everything was over, nobody knew what to make of the newborn child.

"Doc," Mr. Thornburrow started shakily, "did-did something go wrong? I thought you said the baby was perfectly healthy last week!"

"I assure you, it was," Doc responded. "There was nothing to indicate any issue with the baby or the mother's health."

"MY SON IS _GREY_!"

"And I don't know what to tell you! When I last checked - "

At that moment, the baby decided to chime in. Eyes as black as coal slid open, only to immediately close as the baby let out its first cry. Suddenly, any questions about the child's health fell by the wayside in favor of cleaning it up and bundling it up in soft towels. For the next hour, the Thornburrows reveled in the feeling that all new parents experience upon bringing a new life into the world - at least until Doc noticed that the rain pounding on the door had started to sound a lot like a person pounding on it. Leaving the new parents to focus on the baby, he opened the door only to find two soaking wet village elders.

"Ah, excellent! We heard you might be here," said Elder Bramble, representative of Charis's Halfling population.

"As the head cleric, your insight is required at the shrine," Elder Karna'ath, the Dragonborn representative, stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, I'm afraid I can't leave my patients," Doc replied. "If it's so urgent, tell me right here and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Glancing at each other, the elders held a kind of silent conversation that only comes from working with the same person every day for several years. At last, Elder Bramble spoke up. "It's the storm. The girl in charge of shrine duty tonight said the lightning struck the tree and lit the torches around the statue. She believes it's a direct message from Melora, but she's not sure what it could mean."

Glancing back at the couple in the house and the unusual baby he just delivered, Doc opened the door wider to allow them inside. "Well as it just so happens, I think I found the subject of that message. You'll want to take a look at this."

Once inside, the elders looked to the healer, then to the parents, then to little grey baby bundled up against Mrs. Thornburrow's breast. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward and curious staring between all parties in the house, the baby took it upon itself to break the tension again - this time by giggling about something that only a baby could find amusing, then promptly terrifying everyone by lighting on fire. A few panicked seconds later, after which everyone realized that the fire wasn't actually harming anything and was in fact sprouting directly from the child's head, Doc spoke up.

"A blessing from the Wildmother has given us an elemental child," he said reverently. "I've heard tales of elementals from the travelers we've had pass through here. Apparently the Bright Queen employs them as guards and warriors. If that's true, then Melora has given us a protector." He looked up at the parents and their stunned expressions, then back to the elders. "You wanted my insight into the matter? I say that this child was sent to defend our village. From what, I can't say, but with proper training he will grow up capable and strong."

"In that case," said Elder Karna'ath, "we will organize private training to begin once the child-"

"Nosra."

Karna'ath looked briefly surprised at being interrupted, turning to look at the stern face of Mrs. Juniper Thornburrow. "Pardon?"

She answered curtly, "If you're going to write up a whole future for him before he can even understand the words you're saying, the least you could do is take the time to ask his name. We wanted to honor his elemental connections, so we're calling him Nosra."

Gathering his wits, Karna'ath nodded and continued, "We will organize private training to begin once _Nosra_ is able to walk and hold simple weapons. We'll also have the mages work with him to instruct him in the arcane arts once he's old enough to handle the kind of discipline necessary."

And so the next day, the sun rose through the trees the same way it always had. The sunlight gleamed on the wet stonework and the damp fields glimmered like seas of fireflies. The residents of Charis awoke the same way they always had. Farmers slogged through muddy fields to harvest their crops, villagers wandered around picking up debris and setting things back into place, and the self-appointed guards walked from door to door making sure that everyone was okay and helping anyone who needed assistance cleaning up. The elders drank whatever they had on hand to combat the headaches they would soon develop from dealing with petty disputes, but this time the load on their shoulders felt a little lighter - after all, how could you feel stressed when your goddess sent you a protector in the middle of the night?

Life continued on just as it always had for everyone, with the exception of one Missus Juniper Thornburrow and one Mister Arbogast Thornburrow. For the new parents, life now was nothing like what it had been before. And one Young Nosra Thornburrow would continue to ensure that it never was again.


	2. “They/Them/Theirs” - Worriers, “Androgynous” - The Replacements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young Nosra Thornburrow decided being a boy just isn’t the right fit.

The Talk came a bit sooner than the Thornburrows were expecting. Honestly, they’d been hoping they could put it off for a little while longer, but here it is, and now they had to deal with it. The Talk in question was not to do with reproduction or sexuality of any kind, but rather of a bit of a misconception their son had picked up.

”Jangor said I had to fight him because that’s what boys do,” Nosra had answered when his mother asked why he was covered in more bruises than usual after training. “He said that boys have to be tough and strong so we can fight off wolves and bears and make girls kiss us.” That last comment garnered some concern, and later Mrs. Thornburrow would pay a strongly-worded visit to Mr. Irontooth regarding the ideas he taught his children, but right now the couple had two priorities: clean up their kid’s injuries, and set some of those ideas to rights.

Before either parent could speak, Nosra proclaimed, “If all boys do is fight and get punched, I don’t wanna be a boy anymore!”

Despite their hope that The Talk would wait a little longer, neither parent felt that this should be put off, and Mr. Thornburrow spoke up first. “Well you know, there’s a lot more to being a boy than just fighting and girls. Just look at me,” he said, gesturing first to himself, then to his sewing supplies. “I’ve been doing cloth work for 15 years now! I can make such comfortable clothes for you and your mother, I keep our neighbors nice and cozy and warm, and I’ve never had to punch anyone to do it!”

”That’s right! And look at Elder Bramble or Elder Karna’ath,” his wife chimed in. “Nathy’s very big and tall and strong, but he never uses that to hurt anyone. In fact, he often uses his strength to stop fights! And Bramble will curl up and fall asleep wherever he feels comfortable, and he takes such pride in baking lovely treats for his grandchildren. Both of them are highly respected men here, and neither of them ever have to prove their worth by fighting.”

Seeing their child still look a little skeptical, Mr. Thornburrow said, “Listen, if you really don’t think being a boy is all that great, why don’t you try being something else?”

A spark flared in Nosra’s charcoal eyes. “ _I can do that?_ ”

”Yep! You could try being a girl, or something in between, or something entirely separate!”

The excitement in Nosra’s expression was soon clouded by confusion. “How do I do that?”

His mother pulled him onto her lap (which wasn’t exactly an easy feat - apparently a six year-old elemental child was somewhat larger than a six year-old Halfling) and said gently, “Well, usually the first place people start is with clothes, name, and pronouns. If you want to try being a girl, we can change up your clothes and start referring to you as ‘she’ just to see if that fits. Would you want to try a different name, too?”

Tilting her head in thought, Nosra shook her head. “I like my name. And I can really try this? What if I don’t like it?”

“Well, I guess you just keep trying things out until you find what works for you,” her father said, squeezing her shoulder affectionately.

So the next day, Nosra went to her usual training in a comfortable dress she could easily move in, and she punched Jangor in his scaly snout.

\-- One Week Later--

“Pa, I don’t think being a girl is right either,” Nosra said as she helped her father with the week’s laundry. “The clothes are really comfy, but I still don’t feel like me.”

Pausing his work to give the conversation his full attention, Mr. Thornburrow stated, “Well, how ‘bout I ask you a few questions, and we’ll see if that can clear anything up?”

Curious about where he was going with this, Nosra nodded.

”First question: if you could change anything about your body right now, what would you do?”

Thinking hard about the question, Nosra finally answered, “I’d get a tail!”

”Okay, next question: what do you want to look like when you’re all grown up?”

”I wanna be big and strong with a nice face that makes animals wanna be friends with me!”

”What title would you want people to call you when you’re grown up?”

At this, Nosra sat deep in thought for a few minutes. “Miss isn’t right, and Mister feels like it’s for someone else,” she muttered. Finally her eyes lit up. “Captain! No no wait, _Supreme Ruler_!”

Chuckling about kids and their imaginations, Mr. Thornburrow asked one final question: “Right now, do you feel like something completely separate from being a boy or girl, or do you feel like somewhere in between, or do you even feel like anything at all?”

Caught off guard by the question, Nosra admitted, “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m a boy, and I’m _not_ a girl.” Picking a burr off the dress they were holding, they continued, “I kinda wanna be a lizard. They always look so happy sleeping on warm rocks.”

“...Well I’m afraid I can’t really do anything about that, but I’ll see about getting some stones rolled over from the lake shore so you can nap on them,” their father said with a kind smile. “And why don’t you try this out for a bit...”

Three sleeveless tunics (all long enough to have somewhat of a skirt when cinched with a belt) and four pairs of knee-length pants later, Nosra proudly announced to their parents that Jangor apologized to them for fighting and even invited them to go cricket hunting later that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading! Everything I write is completely self-indulgent so I’m very pleased that someone else wanted to read two chapters of this!


	3. "The Chosen Ones" - Dream Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone finally decided to catch Nosra up on the whole "gift from a goddess" thing.

The weird stuff started happening just after Nosra turned seven, when almost all their friends suddenly had other things to do than play with them. If it were just conflicting schedules, they could understand - their training was getting more intense, this year's harvest was set to be _huge_ , and the monsters of the forest had been trying to sneak closer to the village limits. But the thing was, it _wasn't_ schedule issues, and they had no idea what they did to make their friends not want to hang out. They carried an air of melancholy about themself throughout the entire training session, and even their instructor couldn't ignore it after the fourth half-hearted swing that barely made a dent in the punching sack.

"Okay kid, what's eatin' ya? Last week you were swingin' hard enough to knock this thing off the stand," the burly woman (Miss... Cobblefoot? Crumblepot? something like that) said.

"My friends don't like me anymore," Nosra admitted dejectedly, falling out of their combat stance and hunching in on themself. "They keep saying they're too busy to play with me, but then I saw them yesterday playing Squash without me."

"Well, maybe they were busy when you asked, and then when they started playing they thought _you_ were busy?"

"No, they _know_ I finish training before sunset because Ma hates having to wait until it's dark to cook dinner and she never wants to start cooking without me there." They plopped down on the ground and drew their knees to their chest. "I thought we were having fun together, but now they don't wanna see me, and I don't know what I did to make them mad."

Sitting down next to them and wrapping an arm around their shoulders, Miss...Crabbletree? said, "Maybe you should talk to your parents about this, hm? Get your folks to talk to their folks and figure out what happened, then work to set things back to rights."

At this, the kid brightened up a bit, saying, "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'll do that tonight. Thanks Miss!"

"No problem, kiddo," she said, standing up and dusting herself off. Offering a hand to help her pupil up, she continued, "Now let's see that right hook again."

\------------

"Little cinder, can't you come home at least once without being covered in grass?" Despite the admonition, their mother chuckled at their inability to stay clean and started preparing the kitchen hearth for dinner.

"Teacher let me sit down during training. She saw I was sad and let me talk about it," they replied.

Passing the knife and vegetables their way, their mother looked at them curiously. "Sad? About what? Did something happen?"

"I don't think my friends like me anymore," Nosra said as they started chopping. They weren't allowed to try the fancy small chops that Ma could do, at least not yet, but they could cut big stew-sized chunks that any decent cook would be proud of. "Everybody says they're too busy to play with me, but then I see them playing without me, even when they know I'm free." Glancing up from grinding the herbs, Mrs. Thornburrow saw her child's frustrated expression. "Teacher told me to tell you and Pa, and then you and Pa can talk to the other kids' parents, and then I can fix whatever I did to make them mad and we can all play again."

Taking the finished vegetables and throwing them into a simmering pot of stock, she replied, "Well, I think that's a good idea. We'll pay them a visit tomorrow and see if we can get this whole thing straightened out."

\------------

Despite the hopeful feeling they'd had that morning - hopeful that maybe they'd fix whatever happened and they could play with all their friends again - Nosra was feeling worse and worse with each house their parents visited. Every child gave the same answer: "Sorry, but my parents told me I couldn't play with you anymore." And their parents didn't fare any better; all the adults said, "Sorry, orders from the elders." After the last dead end, Mr. Thornburrow was ready to march right into the elders' audience chamber and demand answers, his wife not far behind. As fate would have it, the two elders actually found them first.

"Ah, good day Thornburrows," called Elder Bramble. "We heard you might be looking for us!"

"Damn right I'm looking for you," Nosra's father called back. "What business do you have telling all the parents to keep their kids away from my kid?"

"Mr. Thornburrow, it's for the best," Elder Karna'ath spoke gently but firmly. 

"For the best?! By what metric?!" Nosra had only ever seen their father this angry that time some traveler in the forest stopped in town for supplies and insulted their "hair."

"It's wonderful that Nosra cares deeply for their friends. Those bonds will surely drive them to fulfill their duty to the fullest of their ability," Karna'ath said calmly and with the confidence of someone who expected his words to be received with respect and reverence. "But as it stands, they are growing stronger, and they must focus on their training. We expect to start them on more advanced techniques within the next few months, and they will need to work diligently to develop the necessary discipline if they are to begin their arcane studies next year."

"So the reason you're prohibiting them from having friends... is so they can focus on training... which they need to protect said friends... even though they may grow too distant to call them friends by the time their training is complete." Mrs. Thornburrow spoke slowly and clearly, using the tone of voice she always used to point out when Nosra was making a stupid decision and the logic behind why the thing was stupid.

At this, Bramble looked rather sheepish. "Perhaps we may have been a bit over-the-top. I think," he started, glancing at Karna'ath, "we may be able to reach a compromise that satisfies everyone."

\------------

Everything seemed to go pretty well for almost two weeks, but eventually Nosra's curiosity got the better of them. They could play with their friends again, but only three days and only during certain hours, and they still had no idea what the adults meant by their "duty." So they waited for the perfect opportunity to spring the question, and the opportunity finally arose.

It's Shrine Cleaning Day tomorrow, so most folks will be off work, so Ma and Pa can't use the excuse that they had to wake up early for any jobs. Pa finished a wedding suit for Mr. Proudhill and got paid in lots of wine, so he and Ma will probably have some to celebrate and they'll be a bit looser to talk to. Nosra even dug out the family instruments (a drum for themself, a fiddle for Ma, and a lute for Pa) because their parents will probably feel more like talking after a few songs to get them in a happy mood. _"Oh yeah, it's all coming together."_

And for a while, things went off without a hitch! Ma and Pa had wine and Nosra had juice with dinner, they went through a few renditions of old tavern tunes that surely couldn't be _literally_ about ducks and rabbits (Nosra was pretty sure Old Man Murphy wouldn't be caught dead singing about woodland critters), and sat around the warm hearth when everyone's hands became too sore to keep playing. Time to go for the kill.

"What duty was Elder Bramble talking about?"

And just like that, nobody was sleepy anymore. Both adults looked at each other, then at their kid, then at each other, then nowhere in particular.

"Come on," Nosra insisted, "what duty? And why is it so important that I can't see my friends as much as I used to?"

Sighing in defeat, their father spoke first. "So, elemental children are born under some kind of elemental influence in the environment surrounding their birth. Yours happened to be a lightning strike that set part of a tree on fire."

" _Cool!_ "

"Yes, but," he hesitated, looking to his wife for support.

"It wasn't just any tree that got hit, and it wasn't _just_ the tree that caught fire," their mother continued. "It was the tree where the Shrine is housed, and the lightning actually ignited the torches surrounding the statue. Doc interpreted that it was a message from the Wildmother, her declaration that she sent us a gift in the form of you."

This was the coolest thing Nosra had ever heard. How many kids could honestly say they were a literal gift from the gods? But since they never learned to keep quiet when curious, they obviously spoke up not long after. "But if I'm a gift from Melora, why can't I play with my friends? Shouldn't that mean I get to have all the playtime I want?"

Pulling her child onto her lap, Mrs. Thornburrow continued, "Doc knew of other elementals in our part of the world. Nearly all of them serve as guards or warriors for the Bright Queen, a powerful ruler in a distant city. Between that fact and Melora's message, his interpretation was that you were destined to grow up to protect the village from some great threat. But you needed proper training to do that."

"The elders are just trying to prepare you for your future. They want to do the best they can to serve the community, and they're very worried about making sure you're ready for whatever comes," their father said. "But they're mortal and fallible, and they're going to make mistakes. What's important is that we use our words to talk things out, that way everyone can be happy."

Still a little miffed at their decreased playtime, Nosra eventually nodded in acceptance. "In that case, I'm gonna get even bigger and stronger than Karna'ath! If I can beat him, I can beat anything!"


	4. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" - Cyndi Lauper, "Cad é Sin Don Té Sin" - Caladh Nua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little harmless fun never hurt anyone! Featuring a beloved character from Critical Role, but he's my man now.

The man who was Not From Here walked into Charis on a sweltering summer afternoon. Given that Elves didn't live in Charis and very few non-Drow Elves lived in Xhorhas in general, he immediately sparked interest in everyone who saw him. As usual, the residents treated him with the best possible manners and hospitality, but none making the effort of inviting him to stay longer than necessary. Outsiders had their place, and it just wasn't here.

As he strolled down the street, a flash in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Turning his head just enough to get a better glimpse, he spotted a nearby alley, but nothing that would make a -

_There!_

A small fire peaked out over the edge of a crate and was quickly extinguished. Curiosity properly piqued, he consulted the mental map he had tried to make of the area and circled around the buildings to enter the alley from the other side. From the back, he had a much better view of what caught his eye: a grey kid with a head of fire, _literally_. The kid didn't seem to be paying any attention to him, apparently focusing on alternatively peeking out from behind the crates and hiding behind them. Sensing a good chance to have some fun, he sat down against the wall and spoke.

"What's all this about, kid?"

************

If Nosra didn't get a break soon, their arms might actually fall off. There's no way New Teacher could expect them to keep going for so many hours - they're _eight_ , for Melora's sake! Maybe they could just sneak off a bit for a little break...

Turns out sneaking off wasn't the best idea, as New Teacher gets a lot angrier than Miss Coopertree or whatever her name was. They're gonna be in _so much trouble_ , but even that threat couldn't convince them to come out of hiding. In fact, it was kinda fun to see how long they could stay hidden. They could practice extinguishing their hair, and could do some people-watching to see what adults get up to while the kids are busy. 

They had to move around a bit whenever someone got too close to their hiding spot, but the third place gave them a good vantage point of the main thoroughfare. In fact, they could even hear some of the conversations people were having. Apparently there was a new outsider in town, one who wears a long green cloak and has long red hair. _"Maybe he'll pass by here,"_ they thought hopefully. _"I mean, why wouldn't he? This is the main road through town, so everyone would need to come by here at some - oh! That must be him!"_

Sure enough, a strange figure cloaked in green with long strands of bright red hair peeking out of their hood came strolling down the street. Ducking quickly to not be spotted, Nosra felt pretty proud of themself at successfully catching a glimpse of the stranger - usually outsiders were hurried along as fast as politely possible, never leaving them enough time to really talk about anything outside the village. Peeking out again, they were disappointed but not exactly surprised to see the man had moved on. At least they got to see - _better hide, that looks_ _like Bramble_.

So busy with making sure they couldn't be spotted, Nosra never even noticed the figure sneaking up behind them until they heard, " _What's all this about, kid?_ "

************

To the kid's credit, he didn't startle nearly as much as the man expected. Sure, he jumped a bit, but not enough to give away his position to anyone looking down the alley. Whirling around to face the man, the kid looked dumbstruck. 

"How'd you do that? I didn't even hear you," he half-whispered, fiery hair flickering like a torch in the wind.

"Generally, the best way to walk around undetected is to walk around people who are too busy to notice you," the man replied, glancing knowingly at the pile of crates.

Somewhat embarrassed about his lack of awareness, the kid sat down against the wall across from the man and peered at him curiously. "You're that outsider everyone's talking about. Aren't you worried your nice cloak will get all dirty?"

Glancing down at himself and the ground below, the man shrugged dismissively. "It's not difficult to clean. Besides, I figured seeing what you were up to would be worth the inconvenience."

Grinning like the man had just paid him a great compliment, the kid said, "My name's Nosra Thornburrow, and I'm hiding from my teacher."

"Nosra... That's an interesting name. Now why would a strong young man - "

"Not a man," the kid interrupted. "I'm not a boy or a man, and I'm not a girl either."

_"Better make a mental note of that,"_ he thought. "Is there anything you'd prefer to be referred to as?"

"My teacher calls me a problem child!" Once again, the kid grinned like this was a high compliment.

Picking up from where he left off, he continued, "Now why would a strong young...problem child...like yourself be hiding from your teacher in a dirty alley?" Now that he had a better look at the kid, he found himself getting a little concerned. He wasn't fully sure how other people's lifespans worked, but he was fairly certain this kid hadn't even reached a hundred and yet they had scrapes on their legs and bruises on their arms that he was pretty sure didn't come from normal childhood playing.

"I needed a break before my arms turned into jam. New Teacher says I need to learn discipline to keep up my training, so he makes me practice the same moves over and over and over again until the sun goes down," the kid stated as if that were a normal thing to say. Maybe it was in this part of the world, he hadn't been around long enough to know better. "I just don't know how learning how to block a punch is gonna make me disciplined enough to do magic next year, but the elders and instructors know what's best."

Hearing a bit of melancholy in that last bit, the man suddenly got an idea. "What do you say I show you a trick?"

************

" _What do you say I show you a trick?_ "

Nosra couldn't believe their luck - first they got to see the outsider man, then they got to _talk_ to him, and now he was offering to show them a trick! "Yeah! What kind of trick?"

The stranger chuckled at their enthusiasm and simply stated, "The fun kind." Crawling over to the crates - _There's no way that's good for such a nice cloak_ \- he gestured for them to come closer and whispered, "Point out any adults you have any problems with."

Not entirely sure where this was going but curious nonetheless, Nosra glanced around until they saw a couple familiar silhouettes. "Over there are the elders, Bramble and Karna'ath. They made me stop playing with my friends so much because I needed to train more. That one back there is Mr. Irontooth. He told his son that boys have to fight to be strong, so his son punched me on the training field. That lady with the apron is Grumpy Miss Pucker. She's just really mean to people who lose their toys in her garden." Glancing over at their new friend, they asked, "So what's this trick?"

Giving a little wink, the man started doing some weird movements with his hand, then he started pointing. Suddenly, sparks started erupting on the ground around each of the people Nosra had pointed out. Unable to keep themself from laughing at the sight of all those "honorable and respectable" adults dancing and hopping around to avoid the sparks, they clapped their hands over their mouth and doubled over behind the crates so as not to reveal their position. It lasted less than a minute overall, but it was the most fun they'd had in the past few months combined. Once they'd gotten themself under control - no longer at risk of laughing loudly enough to alert anyone - they turned to the man with an ear-to-ear grin and asked, "How did you _do_ that?!"

Looking at them with a matching grin, the stranger replied, "I just thought about what would be fun, and then I did it."

"You can do magic by thinking about _fun_?! Everybody's been telling me I have to learn how to control myself and follow all these rules before I can do it!" The idea that someone could do magic, could do it so effortlessly, while not focusing on anything but what would be fun was groundbreaking. 

"Well, people find lots of different ways to do magic," the man replied patiently. "Some people study really hard to learn how it works, some people can use it through arrangements with a more powerful being, and some just have it flowing through them." Gesturing at himself, he continued, "People like me have magic inherent to our nature. All we have to do is harness it to make it do what we want."

Reaching over to pat Nosra on their shoulder, he said, "You don't really seem like the kind of person who would work well with all those rules anyway. Some people are just better off than others when it comes to handling the chaos of the universe." As his hand made contact, Nosra felt something like an electric shock, or like getting pulled under by the waves at the lake, or like being swung around in a circle until they couldn't hold on. In a flash, the feeling was gone, but it felt like something new was buzzing beneath their skin and flowing through their veins.

Standing up and brushing himself off, the man - _Was he actually a man? I've never met a man with that kind of power_ \- held out a hand to help them off the ground, saying, "Have you ever made a snowball in the middle of summer?"

\-- Two Hours Later --

Sitting in the shade of the trees just outside the edge of the village, clothes halfway soaked through, the man sat calmly as the kid - _Nosra_ \- concentrated on keeping the ball of water floating in front of them aloft. "You're a natural," he praised. "Now try moving it over toward me." Nervously glancing up at him, they slowly guided the orb in his direction with a few waves of their hand - only to have it collapse and soak into the ground halfway through. 

"I'm never gonna get the hang of this," they mumbled.

"Sure you will," he comforted. "You're just thinking too hard about it. Think less, feel more, and try again. I'll even help." With that, a ball of water took shape in front of him.

"But how do I think _less_ about something I'm supposed to be concentrating on?"

He thought about how to answer that, but ultimately decided to demonstrate instead. Floating the orb from one hand to the other and back, he said, "Talk with me for a few minutes. Ask me anything."

Nosra seemed to perk up at the request and immediately asked, "Where are you from? What's it like? What do you do for fun?"

Chuckling at their eagerness, he answered, "I'm from a place that's both very close and very far away. It's full of incredible beings both very similar to and very different from myself, and there are lots of plants and creatures there that you would never even be able to imagine. As for what we do for fun, we tend to enjoy messing around with people like you, though that's mostly because people like you often end up wandering into our territory first."

Looking skeptical, Nosra retorted, "That's pretty vague, dontcha think?"

"Yes, that was the idea."

Pulling a face, they kept going. "Where all have you traveled? What's it like outside the village? Have you ever seen a giant worm? Is it true that there's a queen far away from here, because if she's real then why haven't we had to pay tribute or something to her?"

Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, the man answered, "Not very far, just from my drop-off point in the forest to here so far. I can't be very specific because I don't have the information, but the world is full of so many stories, so many experiences, so many more people with many more perspectives than you'll ever encounter here. No I've never seen one, but I _have_ seen a dog that can teleport. Yes, and I'm afraid I can't say."

Confused about the wording on some of those answers but not willing to press too hard, they continued, "What do people think of how you spend your time? Goofing off and not doing anything big or important?"

Sensing that this answer may be more important than the other ones he's given, he took a deep breath before responding. "Honestly, I don't really care. So long as I'm not harming anyone, whether by direct action or by inaction, what I do in my own time is none of their concern. Besides, I'd hardly consider goofing off as something that's not important. If all you ever do is work and work and work even harder, eventually you'll work yourself so hard that you break. People need time to relax. You wouldn't spend five hours kneading a lump of bread dough and then immediately bake it, would you?"

"No, it would be hard as a rock! You couldn't eat it!" Something seemed to click in Nosra's mind just then, and they had a sudden look of clarity on their face. "Oh, I getcha."

Humming in approval, the man asked, "Any more questions?"

"Yeah," the kid said with a defiant air, "is this really supposed to help me do magic better?"

A sly grin slid across his face as the mad nodded between them and said, "Why don't you see for yourself?"

************

" _Why don't you see for yourself?_ "

Looking down, Nosra saw that the pair had been passing the ball of water back and forth between them without ever even noticing. Astonished, they exclaimed, "Look look, I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! And it's not falling!"

Even more astonishing, the stranger didn't seem to mind the fact that he'd been bearing the brunt of Nosra's excited outbursts for almost three hours and never once looked anything other than pleased to be there - no impatience, no condescending comments about childlike naivety, no swats to the hand in order to get them to control their emotions. The two continued passing the water back and forth for a few more minutes before the man took over, making little animals run around and flowers bloom and weird shapes orbit around his head.

After watching for a little while, something suddenly occurred to Nosra. "Wait, you never gave me your name!"

Looking shocked for the first time today, the man quickly recovered and replied, "You're right, I didn't. Honestly I'm surprised you even noticed." And he stopped at that.

They waited a few beats, but their impatience ended up winning out. "Well? Aren't you gonna tell me?"

Looking a little apologetic, the man said, "I'm afraid I can't. People like me are very particular about that kind of thing."

"Not even a first name?"

"No."

Nosra huffed in frustration, but then an idea came to them. "Well, if you're not gonna tell me what your name is, I'll just have to come up with one for you! And I'll never ever ever call you anything other than that, not even if you _do_ tell me your name!" Feeling smug, they stared him in the eyes as they waited for him to take the bait. Unfortunately, he seemed to have much more patience and much less need for blinking. "Okay, fine," they conceded, "guess I'm giving you a name." Looking him over, they declared, "Since you're not from here, that means you traveled here and you'll be traveling away. And since you're the only person in Charis doing any traveling right now, I'm gonna call you The Traveler and nothing else from now 'til the rest of time."

"'The Traveler,' huh?" The man - _The Traveler_ \- chuckled good-naturedly. "I think I can live with it."

Suddenly realizing how dark it was outside, Nosra jumped up and exclaimed, "I'm late for dinner! Sorry Mister The Traveler, but I need to go home now. Maybe I'll be able to say bye before you have to leave!" With that, they ran for home, only turning around once to see the man wave from his seat on the ground.

\------------

**_"NOSRA THORNBURROW, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?! YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK! WHAT IN MELORA'S NAME MADE YOU JUST LEAVE TRAINING LIKE THAT AND RUN AMOK AROUND THE VILLAGE?! CLEAN UP AND GET READY FOR DINNER BEFORE I GROUND YOU EVEN LONGER THAN I ALREADY PLAN TO!"_ **

\------------

The worst thing about being grounded meant that they couldn't leave the house except for chores and training. Obviously they missed playing with their friends (though the routines New Teacher made them run as punishment for sneaking off meant they probably wouldn't be able to play anyway - everything hurt too much), but their friends would always be there whenever they got out; The Traveler would be treated like anyone else who found their way to the village - shuffled along as soon as possible to keep him from messing everything up with his Outsider Ways. He'd be long gone by the time they could get out, and they'd never get the chance to say bye. 

As they wallowed in self-pity on their bed, Nosra suddenly noticed something on their windowsill that definitely hadn't been there before. A small, carefully-folded paper flower sat there innocently, illuminated by the light of the setting sun. They gently grabbed it and unfolded it, reading a message written in the brightest ink they'd ever laid eyes on.

_Make sure to have some fun once in a while. - T_


	5. "The Outsider" - MARINA, "Tongues" - Joywave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, trouble in paradise (or at least more than before)!

This past week has been _weird_. There are Drow here, and they're dressed in fancy clothes, and they say they're from _the capital_ , but weirdest of all _they've been invited to stay_. Nosra and their friends haven't been this eager for information since they placed the bet on whether Shalae would reject Arnok's advances politely or if she would just deck him. Unfortunately, it seems like the adults have grown to expect these kinds of antics, so all instances of definitely-not-eavesdropping and definitely-not-spying are quickly shut down. More than once they've been shooed away with nothing more than a "If you need to know, we'll let you know."

As it turns out, Nosra ended up needing to know; after thirteen days of beating the stuffing out of everything placed in front of them during training just to work out some of the idle frustrations, they were escorted to the elders' audience chamber to see the two elders, Doc, their parents, and the three fancy-dressed Drow all looking at them expectantly. "Ah, just in time," remarked Elder Bramble. Looking at the newcomers and gesturing toward Nosra, he said, "Gentlemen, I believe this young folk here is the one you've been so eager to meet. Nosra, these gentlemen are representatives of the Bright Queen herself! They've come here to make us an offer."

"Umm, it's nice to meet you," the kid said uncertainly. Less uncertainly, they thought, _"Why in Melora's name are they here?? Why are the elders being so nice to them??? What kind of offer is this?!"_

"Please have a seat, Young Mx. Thornburrow," Elder Karna'ath ordered gently. "There is much to discuss."

So began the longest three hours Nosra had ever experienced in their ten and a half years of life, and by the end they were so bored out of their mind that they didn't even realize until the meeting was almost over that they didn't process any of what was said. Which really spoke volumes about how much the other parties engaged with them despite them being the main subject of the meeting. They managed to shake themself aware just in time for the handshakes and bows and promises to keep in touch (which _never ever happened with outsiders for Melora's sake **what was going on???**_ ) and soon they were back at home, a bowl of hearty potato soup and some roasted turnips sitting on the table in front of them and still no idea what just happened.

"Sooo...what exactly _was_ all that about?" Glancing up from their own meals, their parents shared a look that indicated they both clearly understood that their child had not absorbed any words spoken at the meeting. 

Setting her spoon down, their mother spoke first. "One of the outsiders who visited us previously spread the word of an elemental here in Charis, and word got around to the Bright Queen. She likes having elementals in her court, and she sent her representatives to recruit you."

Sensing his child's sudden panic, Mr. Thornburrow quickly jumped in with, "They're not taking you just yet! The elders worked out a compromise where you would stay here to train and enter the Queen's service once you've come of age."

Immediate panic soothed but still rattled by the events, Nosra asked, "But why do I have to go serve the Queen anyway? I thought my destiny was to protect Charis. And why would the elders even agree to me serving someone so far away?! I thought their whole deal was 'our community cares for itself' so it makes no sense that they would ship me out to someone I'm not even _supposed_ to serve without getting anything in return because I _know_ they would never accept any help - "

"Easy there, cinder," their mom soothed, recognizing the signs of an oncoming panic attack and calming her child before an emotional magic blast painted the kitchen orange again. "The representatives agreed that in exchange for your service, the Queen would provide units to patrol the forest. They would wipe out any monsters that get too close to the village, build emergency fortresses for us to shelter in if we ever needed to evacuate the village, and serve as contact points if we needed emergency services that we couldn't get here. Otherwise, they'd stay out of our business and leave us to our affairs."

 _Okay, I see how they got the elders to agree_. "But if they're doing all that, what am I supposed to do? I can't protect the village if I'm all the way at someone's castle and someone else is here doing my job." 

Here, their parents hesitated. "Well, the thing is -" nothing good ever happened when Ma used that tone of voice "- Doc spent a lot of time meditating on this. His original interpretation was that Melora sent you to us as a way to protect us from some great threat. After hearing the Queen's offer, he feels that the original interpretation still stands, just not the way we expected. You'll still be protecting the village, but not by staying here and acting as our personal warrior. Instead, your service to the Queen will bring us everything we need to keep us safe while still maintaining our way of life."

"Plus," their father chimed in, "if you make a name for yourself in the Queen's court, you could be in a position to make requests on behalf of the village! That way if there's something we need but we can't feasibly get it on our own, you could get the Queen's support for our cause and keep helping us from afar."

Still rather uneasy but mollified by their parents support, Nosra felt themself relaxing. "Okay, if you say so. I just hope that this doesn't change things too much."

\--Six Months Later--

For the third time that week, Nosra cursed their past self for jinxing their current self. Their current self was once again dodging training, but they trained so much these days that it wasn't like they'd never make it up. After finalizing the deal, Karna'ath had gone full-force into making sure that they grew up into the best guard the Queen ever had in her service. That meant playtime was restricted to four hours a week, _period_ , and training went from before sunrise to after sunset. While the combat instructors were pleased with how much they progressed, the magic instructors only ever grew more frustrated as Nosra's abilities continued to cause random effects almost every time they tried casting, or even just got stressed. On top of all that, the little time they _did_ have with their friends was mostly spent hearing everyone else talk about how amazing it's gonna be for them and how big of an adventure they'll be going on and how they'll be welcomed back home as a hero and blah blah blah.

It definitely didn't help that now there were representatives from the Queen checking in every few months to see Nosra's progress. It might not be so bad if they at least told them anything about the person they were going to serve, but apparently everyone in the capital is a stuck-up condescending jerk who thinks kids don't deserve their oh-so-precious time. The last guy that came here didn't even respond when Nosra asked him something, just looked the other way and carried on whatever conversation he'd been having as if they were never there!

Huffing in anger, the elemental looked out over the lake, then started pulling in their net. _Still empty_.

"You're a bit far from home, aren't you?"

Despite what the other man may say, Nosra definitely did not jump at the sound of the voice. They did, however, drop their fishing net as they turned to look around.

"Mister Traveler!!" Seeing their old friend, they rushed over and grabbed his waist in an iron-grip hug. Gentle hands wrapped around their shoulders, and suddenly everything felt alright for a moment. It was at that moment that the pair noticed delicate pink flower petals swirling around the area, despite the fact that it was autumn. Suddenly sheepish, Nosra pulled back and awkwardly scratched at their neck. "Sorry, that's been happening sometimes when I get worked up... and whenever the magic instructors make me try to cast. I can't make it stop."

"Then don't," The Traveler said simply, as if it was the most obvious solution. "If you can't control it, then trying to do so will only bring hurt and disappointment. Instead, roll with it. See what happens, and make it work to your advantage."

Reflecting on the words and the circle of petals surrounding them, inspiration struck. They grabbed handfuls of petals and carried them over to the water's edge, then flung them out over the surface of the water. Looking to see if - _ah! There it is!_

Nosra tossed the net out once again and stood ready to pull it back, then turned around to see their friend watching in delighted bafflement. "There's no wind today," they started explaining before he could ask, "so the only ripples in the water would be from fish coming up to get a bite to eat. I let the petals drift in the water and if any suddenly changed direction, then I know a ripple pushed it away and that's where the fish is!"

If they had the ability, they would bottle up the look of pride and excitement on The Traveler's face and keep it forever. As it was, they just settled for watching them walk over and examine the hauling rope they were holding with admiration. "Very impressive, kiddo! But why do this in the first place?"

"Oh, I figured it would be a good skill to learn to make rope... but then that didn't work," they explained. "But then Old Man Murphy had a lot of old rope he couldn't find a use for, so he gave it to me! And then I was trying to figure out what I could do with a bunch of pieces of rope so I thought, 'Why don't I try making a net?' But then I needed something to catch in order to test the net..." As they trailed off, they realized they'd been doing that nonstop talking thing that their instructors always tell them to get under control. 

Just before they could apologize, however, The Traveler nodded encouragingly and prompted, "You needed something to catch in order to test the net and..."

"...And I heard from some of the patrols that the path to the lake had been safe for a while, and nobody would really expect to find me here so I could practice for a while without being interrupted, and the fish here near the shore don't seem too big for me to try to catch, so here I am," they finished, not really knowing what to do with the feeling that comes from being encouraged to talk about whatever nonsense popped into their head. Luckily, nature decided to help out, and they felt a slight pull in the rope they forgot they were holding. Hurriedly pulling it in, they were elated to see not one, but _two whole fish_ entangled in their net.

"Hey, great job kiddo! What do you plan on -" The question was cut short as the man watched Nosra carefully detangle the fish and return them to the lake. "I don't get it, why release them after you put all this work into catching them?"

The kid looked quizzically back at the man. "I told you, I just wanted to see if the net would actually work. Besides, what would we even do with the fish? I can't keep them, and we don't eat meat."

The response had made sense up until that last point. "Wait, now hold on," he replied. "I've seen you and your family, and actually a lot of people here now that I think about it, snacking on the bugs that eat your garden. You can't tell me you don't eat meat."

"But we don't," Nosra insisted. "Meat is meat and bugs are bugs! It's no different from how that one stuffy lady last month said she met some people who never ate meat on a certain day of the month but still ate fish because they said it didn't count as meat. And it's not like we raise the bugs to be killed for food, or we prepare huge heaping platters of bugs to serve at dinnertime. It's just an easy way to get rid of pests and also make sure you don't get too hungry while tending to your crops."

Conceding the point, The Traveler just shrugged. "I'll take your word for it."

Time always seemed to pass faster whenever The Traveler was in town. One minute the pair were standing at the lake's edge watching the ripples change the course of the petals still scattered across the surface, the next minute they were both lounging on large boulders that had spent all day being warmed by the sun, talking about everything and nothing.

"... And that's why you should never offer bread to anything with a scorpion tail." Despite his infrequent visits, Nosra carefully catalogued each and every story he shared with them. Each one was noted in their memory, and once they were home they wrote down everything they remembered. Sometimes they missed things, or some things got switched around, but he had assured them that it was alright. " _After all, each new person who tells a story brings something new, their own personal spin on it that nobody's ever heard or said before_ ," he had explained.

Even though they had their eyes closed, comfortable and close to napping, they could still hear the rustle of the cloak that indicated the other had turned to look at them. "What about you?" he asked. "Any stories for me?"

They still hadn't quite got the hang of how to string the right words together or say them at the right time, so they figured they'd go with something a little closer to home. "Well, about six months ago..."

"... And none of them ever bother to ask me what I think of it!" Nosra had spent the past half-hour regaling The Traveler with stories about their new destiny, the new faces around town, the stress of training, and finally got to how their friends were acting around them. "All they do is talk about how awesome it'll be for me and never actually talk _to_ me about it! It's like they think I'm off to become the main character in the next popular ballad or epic and acting like awestruck idiots for who they think I'll be instead of actually treating me like a real person who's here with them right now!" Retelling all the events had gotten the kid worked up enough to sit up and gesticulate wildly as they talked, but now they flopped back against the rock, completely out of energy. "Nobody understands me here. The elders think I'm a good to trade away, my instructors think I'm either being deliberately stubborn or just not applying myself enough to my magic studies, my friends think I'm a future god in the making, the people sent to monitor me think I'm just another annoying brat, and even my parents think I should just accept the decision and be proud of the way I'm serving the village."

Giving the kid a few minutes to calm down, and also to gather his own thoughts, The Traveler eventually spoke up. "I know it's frustrating to be surrounded by people who don't see you for who you really are, but I want you to trust me when I say _it will get better_. It may not be in the next week, the next month, or even the next year, but I promise that it won't last forever. One day, you'll meet someone or a bunch of someones that you'll never be afraid to be authentic around. In the meantime, I want you to promise me that you'll never let go of that bright spirit I see burning inside you."

Eyes suddenly watering, Nosra managed a shaky smile and nodded. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I definitely didn't expect to write this much this quickly when I first started, but this is fine. Get all the creative energy out soon so I can move on to the next project.
> 
> Also, yes, I'm changing up the transition breaks. It's my story and I'll decide on an official transition method once I finish and see what looks best.


	6. "Enjoy Your Life" - MARINA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't always have to solve your problems - you could try to enjoy them instead!  
> \- advice that can only be received either very well or VERY VERY BADLY

"Listen, I'm just saying-"

"Yeah, I know what you're saying! But you're wrong!"

"But it's the only logical conclusion! If he spends all that time surrounded by smelly potion ingredients and spell components, it follows that he probably stinks really bad despite his position."

"Well have you considered this: he's very powerful, he works in the government, and those reps are always talking about how hard he tries to look refined and official despite his age, so he probably smells really nice! Maybe like... I dunno, elderberries or something fancy like that."

"Why are we even talking about this?"

"You started it!"

"No, _you're_ the one who-"

"THORNBURROW! GREENBOTTLE! BACK TO WORK!"

Jumping at the command, Nosra and their partner for this year's harvest went back to shucking their piles of corn. Waiting until Grumpy Old Farmer Blackfang turned her back on the pair, Greenbottle ( _"Is he still going by Reginald? Or was that last month's name?")_ leaned over to them and whispered, "Okay, but seriously. The way your training's been going, you're sure to move up the ranks pretty fast! I've already made a couple bets with the triplets about how long it'll be before you meet him. I didn't wanna get too specific, so I just said five years or less."

Keeping an eye out for any prying eyes or ears, Nosra quietly replied, "If the mages cared even a little about outside affairs, they'd probably do everything in their power to make sure I never meet him at all. They've finally accepted the whole 'random effects when I do magic' thing, but if they had any interest in people in the capital then I doubt they'd want me to show it off to someone like _Essek_."

"You kidding? Think of how cool that would be if it just happened to do something cool right when you need it! Remember when you got so angry at that one guard for insulting your dad's embroidery that you grew like ten feet taller and stuck him up in a tree? That was awesome!"

"... I don't think I really got _that_ much taller."

"We're Halflings, you really think we have the best judgement when it comes to estimating heights?"

Conceding the point, Nosra went back to shucking. They've been getting better at the whole "don't talk if you don't have to" thing, but their mouth still ran a bit too far ahead sometimes. "So, you really think I'd be good enough to meet him? I mean, he's got all this prestige and he taught himself everything, and I'm practically just a bumpkin from the middle of the forest with no formal training."

Seeing the other about to interject, they quickly added, "I know what you're about to say, but admit it: a bunch of angry farmers who break up fights and keep monsters from invading the village aren't exactly on the same level as professional mages and royal guards."

Looking incredulous at his friend's hesitance, the Halfling said, "Listen, you're probably the most capable person in this whole village, and you're barely fifteen! Stop worrying so much. The way I see it, there are two outcomes: either you're really great as soon as you get there, in which case you just sit back and enjoy the rewards of service, or you work hard to bring yourself up to where they want you to be and you're recognized for your dedication! Either way, you're gold!"

"Or there's always the third option: I fail horribly and get stuck doing something menial and dull for the rest of my life. Or a fourth option where I _am_ really great but the Queen doesn't care and just sticks me somewhere doing something menial and dull anyway. Or-"

"You worry too much. Listen-"

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO TO GET BACK TO WORK!"

\------------

The Winter Solstice was quickly becoming a time of mixed feelings in the Thornburrow household. On the one hand, every Halfling worth their salt would rather die than miss the annual celebration in the tavern. On the other, the Thornburrow parents knew that something had started bothering their child around this time of year a few years ago, but they could never figure out what. This year, they promised to do better; the Solstice was a time for celebrating warmth and togetherness, dancing and drinking and singing around a blazing hearth with your community by your side. Even though winter for Charis didn't really bring the blankets of pillowy snow that the capital visitors talked about, the villagers would never turn down an excuse to party, and nobody should be sad at a party.

Two days before the celebration, they figuratively cornered their kid (meaning they made their favorite meal for dinner, let them have extra helpings of dessert, and even let them try a few sips of ale under their supervision) to try and get some answers. Nosra could be cunning when they wanted, but they had to learn it from _someone_. Watching them practically fall asleep on the rug in front of the hearth, Mr. Thornburrow struck first.

"So, any particular reason you've been a bit down these past few days?"

Surprisingly, Nosra didn't jump up and start deflecting like he expected. Rather, they kind of sighed in defeat and rolled on their side, curled in towards the fire. "It's nothing, just something stupid. I'll get over it," they answered.

"My little candle," their mom spoke up, "we've seen how this affects you each year. If there's anything we can do, even if it's just sit here and listen, we _want_ to help."

Flopping over onto their back again and throwing an arm over their face, the teen admitted, "I feel left out because I can't do the dances."

_Well, definitely not what we expected._ She gently pressed, "What do you mean?"

"I mean when I was younger and about the same size as everyone, I learned the basic moves of the dances with all the other kids. Then when everyone got older and could start learning the Brush Dance and the Barrel Dance and stuff like that, the teacher couldn't help me because the barrels that were just right for all the other kids were too small for me and my legs ended up being longer than the brushes." They paused to take a few breaths, and their parents' hearts broke when they heard the hitch in their voice when they spoke again. "A-and with all the training I've had to do the past few years, I-I haven't really had any t-time to practice at all, and I know that I'm o-only gonna get pushed even h-harder in the _next_ few years so I can't practice then, a-and then I'll be sent o-off to the capital and I don't know when I can come back," they said as they tried to get their breathing under control. Failing that, the rest of the words spilled out in a rush, " _and I don't wanna be the only person there who doesn't know anything but combat because that's super boring but if I can't even join in the cultural celebrations then do I even really belong here because all I ever do is train and train and harvest and I don't feel right here but I won't fit in with a bunch of strangers and it's stupid and pathetic to be sad about this because it's **just a stupid dance!"**_

Having heard enough, both parents dropped to the floor and embraced their child. "Oh sweetie, little cinder, candle in my darkness," their mother cooed, "it's not stupid or pathetic. It's important to you to feel connected to your home, and being prevented from doing that by things you can't control must be very upsetting."

"You're doing something that nobody else here could do," their father comforted, "and it's scary and unpredictable because nobody here _has_ done it before - you're leaving not just the village, but the forest. It's perfectly understandable that you want to make sure you don't forget your roots out in the distant lands, and just because you can't do some of the dances doesn't mean that your roots aren't anchored here. Why, the Dragonborns -"

" _But I'm **not**_ _a Dragonborn!_ I was born from Halflings, I was raised with Halflings, but I'm not a Halfling either! I don't want to pretend to just act like some other group just because they're the same height as me, but I can't act like the group I'm actually part of because I don't fit any of it!"

Gripping their chin firmly, their mother turned their head to face her. "Nosra Thornburrow, you listen to me and you listen good. Just because you can't dance like us does _not_ mean you're not one of us. You cook our food, you play our music, you say our prayers, _our blood flows through you_. No matter where you go in the world, you shine a light that nobody else can. You belong everywhere because everyone deserves to meet you and see you and know you, and at the same time you belong nowhere because nobody can contain that fiery spirit of yours in one place."

Gazing into eyes as black as coal, the parents watched as the smallest spark seemed to ignite within the depths, and all of a sudden those eyes were blazing orange and their child was pulling them in for a hug they were both too small to resist (not that they even wanted to, of course). 

Outside, the weather grew colder and the sky grew darker. The moisture on the ground froze and the dirt turned into icy mud slush. Winter here was never the beautiful, glimmering wonderland that outsiders claimed they experienced, but it didn't matter. The hearth was warm, the food was filling, and there was always someone there beside you when you needed it.

\--One Year Later--

Nosra still couldn't dance, but they could hit a drum and conjure up a story around the fire and make a pot of stew that even the grouchiest guest couldn't complain about. Anyone who claimed they didn't have a solid connection to their culture had another thing coming. They still felt like they weren't good enough to work for the Queen, but they figured there's no point in worrying about it - either they were good enough in her eyes or they weren't, and there was nothing they could do to influence that opinion. They struggled with the fact that they have so little time left with their friends, but they countered that by making great use of the time they did have.

It didn't solve their problems, but it did make them a bit easier to bear. And to Nosra, that might as well be the same thing.


	7. "Are You Satisfied?" - MARINA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think someone would have asked Nosra what they actually wanted before now.

"You're a bit far from home, aren't you?"

One day, Nosra would manage to not get startled by someone sneaking up on them...but today's not that day. Instead, they spun around so fast trying to locate the source of the voice that they immediately got tangled in their own net and fell flat on their back. As they stared up at the sky, a green-clad figure walked over and peered down at them, red hair cascading down like a curtain.

"Hey Traveler! Glad you stopped by!"

Chuckling at their attempt to untangle themself, The Traveler leaned back against one of the boulders and watched Nosra somehow manage to get their leg caught in such a way that their foot almost touched their shoulder. The last time this happened, he offered to help out, but they had insisted that they needed to learn how to get out of tricky situations. _"Well, at least they're improving,"_ he thought as they finally freed themself, taking almost eight minutes to do so (which was a definite improvement from twenty minutes last time).

"So, what brings you by this time? Anything in particular, or just passing through?" As they asked, Nosra gathered up their net and got ready to throw it again.

"I thought I'd come visit you before you have to leave," he replied.

Releasing the net and watching as it arced out in a brilliant circle and then sunk beneath the surface of the lake, they said, "Aww, that's real sweet of you! I guess it _would_ be kinda hard to come talk to me if I'm always sitting at the Queen's right hand." They chuckled at their own ambitious vision, then turned to look at their friend while they waited to pull the net back. Unlike the usual smiles he wore - mischievous, indulgent, proud, intrigued - this one seemed...sad?

"Indeed it would," he said, hopping up onto the boulder he'd been leaning on and turning to watch the lake. "You must be very happy about this. Everything you've ever wanted is about to be in the palm of your hand."

"It's definitely exciting to think about," Nosra replied, hauling in the net and releasing their catch. "I've been waiting my whole life for this, and now it's almost here."

"But it's what you've been looking forward to, no? All your hopes and dreams about to culminate in this epic journey toward your destiny?" Something in the man's voice seemed off, but they couldn't quite place it. 

"Well, yeah," they responded, "it's what I've been preparing for for eighteen years now and-"

"But is it what you _want?"_

Casting the net out again, they shook their head in confusion. "I agreed to do this. My parents support me, my friends have been nothing but encouraging-"

"I ask again: _is this what you want?_ You say your parents support you - would they support you if you decided you didn't actually want to do this, or would they try to soothe your fears as gently as possible while still managing to guide you back to doing this? You say your friends have been nothing but encouraging - are they encouraging you to do what actually makes you happy, or are they encouraging you to do what _they_ think is cool and noble and heroic? And while you're thinking about that, ponder this too: if you hadn't been the Genasi in the village, if it had been someone else facing the choice between doing what makes them happy and doing what other people tell them, which choice would _you_ want them to make?"

Ignoring the net entirely, Nosra turned their attention to the man. "It's not as simple as that. Sometimes people have needs, and in order to fill those needs you have to do something you may not want to do."

"So you admit you don't want to do this?"

"I'm admitting that I have a duty to my people!" The flame on Nosra's head burned higher, and a faint crackle of arcane energy began emanating from them. "If I don't do this, Charis loses out on protection, on access to resources, on things that they could _need_ in the event of an emergency!"

"And how many catastrophic events have they had here in your lifetime," The Traveler challenged. "What about your parents' lifetimes? Your elders'? So many decades have passed where Charis could have been laid to waste, but it wasn't. What makes you think that's going to change just because you came along?"

Sputtering in indignation, they spat out, "Doc said Melora-"

"Interpretations by fallible mortals can be flawed. Your own parents told you as much, didn't they? And even if you had the perfect interpreter, even if you spoke with the goddess herself, deities aren't perfect either. They can be fickle, they can change their minds on a whim, they can play with the lives of their worshippers for their own entertainment. The Wildmother may be better than many, but she's far from flawless."

"And what if he's not wrong? What if there _will_ be a disaster, and the resources that the Bright Queen provides end up saving the village? I'm not about to let my selfish wants put everyone in danger," they said as they turned their attention back to the water. The net hit the surface with a satisfying _sploosh_.

"Alright, let's say you go off and the capital comes in. A disaster strikes, the capital saves the day, all's well that ends well. Who gets the credit?" Nosra turned back to look at him, but his expression was nothing but innocent curiosity. "Well?"

"This is getting ridiculous," they said angrily. "What kind of question even is that?"

"A perfectly reasonable one, in my opinion," The Traveler replied. "Everyone gets saved by the people from the capital, so who gets the credit? You, all the way in a distant castle whom nobody has heard from in months, if not years? Or the people who actually showed up to help in person?"

"I'm the whole reason they'd even be there!"

"And how long do you think it will take people to forget that?" Hearing no quick retort from the teen, The Traveler pressed on, "Obviously your parents would appreciate you - you're their only child, after all. But what about everyone else? Your trainers may feel some pride thinking about you, but would your neighbors? You know, the people you were never given enough time to really get to know? Your friends may remember you, but how long do you think it'll take before your name just becomes a tale passed around from older sibling to younger - a faceless name in a distant land doing nothing that they could see? And what about when you die? If you die early? How do you know the Queen won't draw her forces back to herself when the only thing keeping them away is gone? Mortals are _much_ more fickle than gods, after all."

"Is there a point to all this?!"

 _"Could you live with it?"_ Auras of magic were coming off both of them now, the air crackling and breaking and swirling between them. _"You grieve for the friends and family you haven't even lost yet. You grieve for the culture you are not yet separated from. This decision torments you, yet you plan on doing it anyway because you feel you need to. Could you live with your decision knowing how soon people could forget your sacrifice? Would you be satisfied with a life of wandering the same hallways over and over until you're old and decrepit if someone told you at your deathbed that Charis has never faced any danger? Would you feel fulfilled, or would you spend your last breaths wishing desperately for a chance to actually live your life?"_

**_"SHUT UP!!"_ **

The fireball that came next caught them both off-guard.


	8. "Into the Unknown" - Panic! At The Disco cover

Honestly, there's not much of a better place to be set on fire than at the edge of a lake. Even Nosra, angry as they were, could find space in their mind to appreciate it. Once they climbed out, put out all the smaller fires, and straightened their clothing to where it would chafe the least, they found themself marginally calmer. Even looking over and seeing The Traveler still perfectly put-together didn't irritate them as much as they figured it should. Finally, when the fires were out and their clothes were as comfortable as they were going to get and they found no other distractions to delay the rest of the conversation, they climbed up on another boulder and turned to their friend.

"What would you have me do? Refuse to go and end up being dragged from the village anyway? Run away and leave everything behind? You know I can't," they said, exhaustion numbing them to the point of being monotone.

"I wouldn't have you do anything," they heard from the other rock. "It's _your_ life, you should do what you feel is best."

"What I feel is _best_ is protecting the people I care about. And despite what you say about forgetting me, I know they care about me too. I have to do this." If the past twenty minutes hadn't been so emotionally draining, they would have said that with a lot more conviction...probably.

"Well, if you really and truly feel that way, I won't stop you." The Traveler took one more look at them before turning his attention back to the lake and the setting sun starting to reflect across the surface. "I guess I'll just use the rest of my time here to say my goodbyes."

Nosra knew he didn't mean it in a guilt-tripping way - he never did - but they still couldn't help but feel bad for him. "You know, I've heard that the castle's pretty far away, especially on foot. I'd imagine that in the time it takes me to get from here to there, you could probably manage to run into me on the road once or twice," they offered.

"I wish that were the case, but the rep that arrived here yesterday set up a teleportation circle in the elders' audience chamber. It'll be an instant trip," he said, voice full of melancholy.

"Wait, _what?!"_ This was the first they'd heard of this. 

Turning his head to glance at them curiously, he replied, "I thought you knew? There was a bag of your clothes sitting next to it, ready to go at a moment's notice."

"No, no that can't be right," they said, shaking their head in denial. "I thought I'd have more time to get ready, like a month or something or maybe a week at the least! And they can't seriously expect me to just dive head-first into service, can they?" No response. "I'm turning 19 in four days! Why hasn't anyone told me about this?!"

Looking at them sadly, the man replied, "I don't think you need me to answer that."

Dropping their head into their hands, Nosra admitted, "They knew I wouldn't react well to the instant teleportation. They didn't want to put up with me making a fuss, so they planned to spring it on me as soon as possible." Groaning into their hands, they continued, "And my parents! How could they have gone along with this?! I mean I know they always wanted me to ' _fulfill my destiny'_ and all that but how could they let them just take me like this?? Because I know they had to be in on it, otherwise how could the bag of clothes have gotten there?"

After a few agonizing minutes, they lifted their head again and turned to their companion. "Nobody cared enough to even tell me what was going on, or if they did then they were too scared of whatever the repercussions were. What kind of community would do that? And to the person they were relying on to protect them?! I'm giving up my entire life here and they couldn't even bother to tell me that I _couldn't stay long enough to say goodbye?!"_

The fire on their head dimmed, and they spoke again with a faint voice, "I don't belong at the capital, and apparently I don't belong here either. What am I supposed to do?"

Once again, The Traveler answered, "Whatever you feel is best."

That night, as Nosra lay in their bed, they made up their mind. _"If I'm destined for greatness, it'll be on **my** terms."_


	9. "You Cannot" - Erin McKeown, "They Say" - Planet Booty, "Phoenix" - FMLYBND, "Angel With A Shotgun" - The Cab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, baby! We love a rebellion!

As it turns out, running away from home was a lot easier than people made it out to be. The night before their birthday, Nosra made sure their parents' wine glasses never went below half-empty, and waited. It didn't take long for them to hear the telltale snoring of two people dead asleep, so they went to work. A set or two of clothes, a basket full of food that would travel well, pouch full of spell components, trusty net in their pack, a spear on their back, a knife at their hip, and they were set to go. 

Sneaking out wasn't so hard either. Keeping their hair extinguished barely took any effort anymore, and at this point in the night everyone would be so exhausted from the day's harvest that nobody would be awake to find them. Sneaking around the buildings and through the alleys, they nearly reached the forest, but suddenly got an idea. _If I'm gonna leave for good, I guess now's better than never._

Sneaking over to the Shrine of the Wildmother, Nosra saw where one of the lightning-struck branches hadn't ever completely recovered. Taking out the knife, they got to work on sawing off a small section. A sudden feeling of confusion and unease washed over them, but they shook it off. "This is all your fault, you know," they said to the shrine. "You had all the time in the world to change their minds. You could've told them they were being too harsh when I was younger, you could've told them I deserved to set my own timeline for departure, you even could've told them that there wasn't really a sign that night and that they should just treat me like any other kid!"

The small branch section snapped off and they stuffed it into their pack. Turning back to the statue, they offered a few last parting words, "I just want you to know I won't be setting foot in any of your shrines or temples again until you apologize." And with that, they disappeared into the night.

\------------

Over the next four years, many of the people that made up Nosra Thornburrow died and were replaced. The vegetarian was the first one to die - when half the plants around you are toxic and you have competition for the edible ones, you learn to adapt your diet accordingly. Next was the fighter that spent every minute of daylight beating things with a stick. That one took longer, as the Lotusden Greenwood was far too dangerous to let down their guard too much. But, once they made it out of the forest and to the coast, they found they could relax. The people here were friendly and hard-working, and they soon discovered that a lot of people appreciated a good story. The duty-bound promised child took even longer; a lifetime of being told your destiny was to protect people doesn't evaporate overnight.

Nosra Fisher is not a vegetarian. The world is full of too many poisonous plants and delicious animals for them to be one.

Nosra Fisher is not a fighter. Their magic is their strength, their only workout routine involves tossing and reeling, and they'd much rather sit around a fire telling stories than beating something into submission.

Nosra Fisher does not rely on the whims of the gods. They know better than that. There are general guidelines they follow to keep the universe from striking them down instead. They're not so prideful as to refuse to ask help when truly needed, but they know better than to put too much stock into it. If you need something done, you do it yourself.

Nosra Fisher is nobody's hero. They are the master of their own destiny, belonging nowhere and beholden to no one. Nobody to tell them that they have to put themself in danger for someone else's sake (they get to choose whether or not to do that on their own), nobody to tell them where to go and how long to stay, nobody stopping them from spending an entire day walking along the beach picking up seashells.

Nosra Fisher is not from Charis. And they'll make up as many stories as necessary to make sure that things stay that way.

\------------

_"Mx. Fisher,_

_You are cordially invited to an evening at the Solvia Family vineyard..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Lord, I can't believe I actually wrote all this. I'm surprised I managed to make it this long, but hey. It's all the self-indulgent fantasizing I could possibly want for a made-up character of my own creation.


End file.
